Hey. This is BG here, andI’ve got something to say. First of all, why did you call me BG? What’s wrong with “falcon slayer” or “valkyrie?” And then you baby-talk me in front of the mockingbirds! Now how do you expect me to get any respect around here?
And what’s this with changing my brand of food? I’m a bird of discriminating taste. So quit telling people I’m finicky, cause there’s a big difference! I have feelings too. I’m a sensitive bird. Don’t tell me you didn’t see that volume of William Birdsworth under the food bowl!
Now that you know I’m so cultured, why aren’t you taking me to Jordan with you? You don’t think I can handle it? And if anyone tries to quarantine me I’ll bite them! My beak’s nice and sharp from that cuttlebone. Come on, I fit in your purse, and I’ll be really quiet during the security check…”
Goodbye, BG. I’ll miss you!